Alive and limping28 december 2007
And another holiday is over all too soon. Pulau Weh was beautiful: intact sea fans, big boxfishes, big triggerfishes, big moray eels, big ribbon eels, big octopuses, big schools of jacks and barracudas - BIG (relatively speaking, compared to other dive sites) everything! And yes, the currents were strong at some points. The stretch of Gapang beach, where our resort, Lumba Lumba Diving Centre, was situated, was just as lovely. The natural charm of the place, complete with wandering wildlife like cows, goats, chickens and ducks, in addition to the usual dogs and cats (and oh yes, those goddamn mosquitoes) - was as yet untouched. There was a tranquility to the place which Malapascua (much as I enjoyed my brief repose there) didn’t have - or rather, no longer did. Minor disappointment - I gave Sophie Rickmers a miss after I got paranoid about the sharp pains around my knees, left arm, a few of my fingers and toes, on the second day of diving, though there wasn’t the prickly skin which I got two years ago. Still, I decided not to take the risk; I did the shallower dives while the group went for their 45-50m deep dive test on Day 3 and the actual one on Day 4. When I got back to Singapore, I consulted Dr O, who didn’t think it was the bends because the dive profile didn’t match the symptoms (too many of my joints were hurting and they were bilateral), and the 40 minutes of oxygen therapy didn’t resolve the pains. Dr O did suggest that I see my GP about the pains though. Hmmm. Before I forget, I must mention the huge pod of dolphins that followed the ferry for several minutes en route to the island. Really cool sight, that :-D They showed up just after a heavy downpour, the skies clearing just as quickly as the dark clouds had appeared earlier. (Speaking of which, I’m still looking for a nice dolphin tattoo; everything I’ve seen so far seems too cartoony.) The dolphins were a welcome reprieve after an entire day of hard travelling by air/land/sea/land, which included a lot of waiting and moving heavy luggage around - and which probably explains all my body aches! Counting down to Moalboal and Bohol over Chinese New Year, from 3-9 February 2008.
Gone diving at Pulau Weh, Aceh, Indonesia from 20 to 25 December 2007. Am excited about the deep dive to see the WWII wreck Sophie Rickmers.
“In the 10th lunar month from 19 November to 18 December 2007, you will be full of doubts and suspicions, including in love, causing you a lot of stress. Do not let this cause you to give up or change your direction. Often, because of such worries, you change your course. It will only do you harm and all your hard work will come to naught. Do not let a moment’s anger or worry decide your course for you. Do not let your emotions decide for you.”
I had my doubts and suspicions - but then, I always did and still do. I took it all in my stride though - as far as I could anyhow. As for changing my course, well, it wasn’t ME who had a change of mind. But I suppose I did OK afterall. I’m still around, aren’t I?
I have been busy. That is all. Anyway, it’s 0105 hours now and I’m still up - just waiting for the hair to dry. This private blog is pretty cool, actually. There’s no pressure to write or think too hard about WHAT and HOW to write. Nice. And oh yes, I’m feeling rather pleased that a familiar stranger from back when I first started writing has reappeared after a two-year absence - or so it seems from her archives; she could have been writing elsewhere. I liked the old blog and she always had such cool layouts - different, but definitely cool. So, well, that’s the other nice thing today worth noting, I think.
I was feeling better about myself yesterday and decided to be ‘nice’ (read: friendly) to people around me. So, after yoga class, I made my way to the showers and since all the stalls were conveniently occupied, I just as conveniently planted myself next to Water Boy, who of course wasted no time in catching my eye and making small talk, seeing as to how his eyes have been boring into my back for some weeks now, but I had always looked away - mostly because I didn’t quite know what to do after meeting his eyes; I shy, ok??? He claimed not to have realised I was in the same class the previous night. I thought that was odd since the all-conversation-stops and eyes-boring-into-the-back had happened again at the showers last night. Instead, I told him that I didn’t miss HIM in class on Monday night - in fact, it was hard NOT to notice him in classes. Smirk. (Ok, maybe I’m not so shy afterall.) Nice eyes by the way, now that I actually got to look into them up close ;-)
According to the nifty WordPress Blog Stats, it seems that a few clever readers have located this refuge via Google. Too bad they won’t be reading THIS post because I just activated another nifty WordPress feature and set Blog Visibility to “I would like my blog to be visible only to users I choose” - being NOBODY. Laugh. For now, anyway. I need to be alone with my thoughts for now. I need to find the courage to write what I need to. And really, I don’t need any well-meaning reassurances that things are not as bad as they seem now and that I’ll be fine - I just need to vent and I don’t need anyone discounting what I need to say (sic). And because… what if? But for now, I will write - for myself.
I’ve been meaning to do this for a long time. So, it’s not that sudden - not to me, anyway. For several months, I had continued to make half-hearted updates - words that did not even come forth that easily, but I made the effort to continue. The alternative would have been to bring the blog down, because it just did not seem… proper to leave the blog in stasis while I “went away”. So I took everything down, even the comment function, and left only a short message. It was not so much by way of explanation - though these words here, which I now write and only I read, do; and C could tell that my heart had not been in the words for some time - but just so people would stop coming by to check for updates. Work’s been keeping me busy this year anyhow. And so little is happening on the personal front… Words are little comfort when you start to believe that they might be all you will ever be able to hold close to your ' heart… I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. I don’t even know if I’ll write again.
And of course, Pulau Weh is just 20 days away :-D
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