How Do I Love Thee?(Note: Emphasis my own.)
Count indeed - that one should speak of marriage in terms of years, calories, superlatives and tolerance; that marriage stands the test of time, rather than love; that it is an obligatory relationship between two people. Were it as simple as honing housekeeping skills, signing up for a culinary course, having a working womb, and being just a little hard of hearing - I might be married by now too. But marriage is "a lot of hard work" - literally. I guess I am just too lazy for marriage. And oh yes, my ears are so sharp I often hear things that I should not. Ah well.
Name 5 of life’s simple pleasures that you like most, then pick five people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not use things that someone else has already used.
. Floating on my back. And the tag stops here! :-P (Before I get burnt at the stake for chain-MeMeing!) (Note: Eh, in what way does indulging in the same pleasures make you unoriginal and uncreative???) My First MeMeOwww. Reach behind. Pull out feathered (PINK feathers no less!) arrow from The King of Fairies. Grumble.4 jobs you've had in your life
. Sales Promoter 4 movies you could watch over and over
. Dogma (Note: Not necessarily a reflection of my favourites - some of the best movies are meant to be savoured just once - or at the most, twice.) 4 TV shows you love(d) to watch
. CSI 4 places you've lived
. Brunei (born and lived there for a year) 4 places you've been on vacation to
. Perth 4 places you would rather be
. Wordsmithing in the publishing industry 4 of your favourite foods
. Foie gras 4 websites you visit daily
. Gmail 4 tagged
. Circe To Date or Not to Date"When I first moved to Asia, I thought it was strange how relationships here seemed to be much more 'possessive'. I have met many people whose partners wouldn't allow them to hang out with friends of the opposite sex. ..."Different people bring different viewpoints. Besides, isn't it healthy to mingle with others rather than just your significant other? I think this is a clear sign that someone is so insecure that he has to latch on to his partner. It goes without compromise. Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps it's valid for people not to trust their partners and to minimise all interactions with others whom they may be attracted to. ... "One of the happiest couples I know in the US was advised to cut off friends of the opposite sex so as to improve their previously rocky relationship. They saw a marriage counsellor, who advised them to hang out only with other couples and not go on dates with persons of the opposite sex. It worked for them. ... "Romantic notions make me want to think that as long as two people really are head over heels in love with each other, they can hang out with whoever they want and still maintain a strong relationship. But perhaps the reality is, like any project or situation, you want to minimise the chances of failure. How unromantic. And yet, perhaps, how true." - "End a Friendship for Love?". 15 January 2006. The New Paper.
I smirked. Was it any wonder that their relationship was on the rocks if they had been going on 'dates with persons of the opposite sex'? You mean you need a marriage counsellor to tell you that??? The guest columnist later clarified: Rrrright. First of all, if it was just an outing, why was there a need to specify hanging out only with 'other couples' and not 'persons of the opposite sex'? Obviously, this was an issue in the couple's relationship. Second, I think it is safe to say that most Westernised cultures, no matter how 'open', would acknowledge that a 'date' is commonly understood as "a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character". I speak English. You speak English. Since we all can speak English, how about not mucking around with the language, and just call a 'date' a 'date'? And if it truly is not a 'date' (yes???), please do not refer to it as a 'date' - unless you are trying to muck around with your significant others (insert apostrophe where appropriate) head(s). Personal issues with self-confidence aside, I do not think it is inappropriate to continue meeting friends of the opposite sex, especially if you had known them before your current partner - that is, generally speaking. But obviously, if your friend of the opposite sex is someone you "may be attracted to", it is only appropriate to "minimise all interactions". And no, involving your partner in a 'group outing' does not make it any less inappropriate - because your clever idea of a little having-your-cake-and-eating-it ménage à trois most probably forgot all about that not-so-little matter of 'informed consent' which has to be obtained from all parties concerned. And unless you are in a Kathy 'Misery' Bates type of relationship, if you find yourself starving for "different viewpoints" and having to keep explaining that it is "healthy to mingle with others rather than just your significant other", you have to wonder if maybe, just maybe, your significant other should continue to remain a significant part of your life. If there seems to be so much lacking in your relationship that you feel the need to 'supplement' it - assuming you do not have a biological predisposition for polygamy - then maybe, just maybe, you should be spending the rest of your life with someone else. At the end of the day, "as long as two people really are head over heels in love with each other", while they might give the other the freedom to "hang out with whoever they want", in all likelihood, they would still end up spending most of their time with each other - because they want to; they enjoy each other's company too much to not want to; they never tire of wanting to learn something new about the other; and they never, never, tire of loving the same thing about the other every single day. Now, that, to me, is really romantic. It's Only an IntroductionShe asked if I had met up with Mr Homer Simpson since the introduction over MSN chat almost two weeks ago.Well, no, because he had not asked me to. In fact, after that first MSN chat, we did not communicate again, because he had not initiated contact either. Why don't you ask him - make the first move, she urged. Well, because I thought I had already fulfilled my quota of first moves in this lifetime, and it was time that I got to sit back and enjoy the 'good karma'. But frankly, if he was interested, he would have initiated contact again or just cut to the chase and asked to meet. So, the truth is, he probably was not - which is why I was not inclined to initiate meeting either. According to the introducer, he thinks she does not have good taste. (Excuse me, I am not single because I am undesirable okay? I am just a little unhinged at times.) That impression might also have been reinforced because I declined to put up my photo (because I think it is tacky to exchange photos over the internet???), though he volunteered his - which was too small to make out anything. And the chat session ended just then, because he said he had to attend to some work. Still, good karma notwithstanding (more like not happening), if I really liked someone, I would have made the first move or nudged him into making it (or clubbed the blur sotong over the head and dragged him back to my cave). Evidently, my interest was not sufficiently piqued. There was not much of a conversation going on, though granted, some people are just more reserved online. And, I confess, I googled - thank you Google! - him and found a few photos. Heh. Heh. Though he was not a hobbit, had no discernable missing limbs and seemed to still have all his hair, it was not a face I took to (not that it looked anything like Homer Simpson, his MSN avatar) - though I could imagine other women might take to it, if not the doctorate in astrophysics. So, tacky as it was, I suppose his request for a visual was not unreasonable. And when you get to a certain age (20-somethings, shuddup, listen and learn), it is not unreasonable to not want to 'waste your time' - though some people would argue that beggars should not be choosers. The reality is this: after the initial enthusiasm and novelty of meeting new people wears off, each subsequent and unsuccessful encounter in an ever-shrinking 'Single, Desirable and Unusual' but ever-expanding 'Single, Desperate and Unattractive' pool wears you down, and leaves you a little more discouraged and jaded (again, 20-somethings, shuddup, listen and do not speak until you are 30-something). Anyway. In spite of all of that, if he had asked, I would still have met him - simply because he asked. And also because of what everyone says about giving life a chance, and I would give my friend that much courtesy (making the first move does not count!!!) for her good intentions and not wasting my time with a very funny (but married) man. As they say, "It's only an introduction, the rest is up to you." And it really is. It is up to you: to approach these introductions in the right spirit; to know what you want when you see it; to know what you do not want - or are not what the other wants - and move on from there. And oh yes, it would also be nice to remember your manners while you are at it.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ You know how some cyclists just lurrrrve going at their bells like their fingers are having epileptic fits everytime they are anywhere from 1m to 50m behind you, even after you have drifted to the side so they can pass you safely? Next time, turn around and yell "I'M NOT DEAF!!!" - because you know, maybe THEY are deaf, like how people who are hard of hearing tend to speak very loudly because they cannot hear their own voices. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ It was agreed: Malcolm Gladwell does not so much write than do the literary equivalent of ramble (much like writing versus blogging). My fellow busker in the sun, who was in an especially pugnacious mood, was flabbergasted that millions would buy a book - The Tipping Point - that stated so much that was 'obvious' about human nature, that everyone already knows. And yet, pop psychology continues to sell well even after decades, no? Our enduring fascination with all things human aside, I suppose there are always the less perceptive and enlightened ones for whom such 'obvious' books would be a constant delightful discovery, and these books are not so much for those who are already good at reading and understanding people, but the former. As with Blink, whether or not the way it was delivered - rambling and all - was intended, is another matter altogether. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The latest from vPost is certainly good news for online shoppers who buy from the States, though I hear that they are still working on expanding their list of vendors (what do you mean Victoria's Secret is not on your list yet???) and shipping costs remain relatively high. The alternative would be to get a friend/colleague living/working in the States - if you have one - to receive the goods and ship it to you. While The Stapler Maniac's company has an office in the States (and costs for personal parcels have been known to be 'absorbed' on occasion), she was not too enthusiastic about asking her overseas colleague to pass on a Victoria's Secret parcel (even after I promised that I was not getting lingerie), especially when they realise from the sizing that it is not for her and start wondering if it is for a special female friend. Cough. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ And I have lobster-red cheeks now. Heh. Heh. "Don't Jump My Queue!!!"I am beginning to think that a lot of times, inconsiderate behaviour happens because people actually believe (and know) they can get away with it, and they are counting on the affected parties being non-confrontational, if not less nasty than they are.This morning, I spent 5 minutes glaring at two young boys who obviously knew (since they kept turning back to look at me glaring at them) I was already waiting for a cab 20m away. While I almost started walking towards them to start yelling (if their mother, who was deliberately looking away, did not intend to educate her sons, I would), I did not because I could not think of something 'smart' - and still nasty - enough to say. And I was naive to think that my obvious displeasure would prompt them to back off. In the end, they got a cab - while I waited another 20 more fucking minutes and had to pay an extra $2.50 to summon one to get to the beach. I guess there are always more civilised ways to engage such inconsiderate behaviour, and one does not have to resort to the same level of nastiness. So the next time, I will calmly walk up to the queue jumper, smile politely and ask if they are in a rush. If they are not, I would smile again and say, "Good. Then DON'T JUMP MY FUCKING QUEUE!!!" And if they claim to be in a rush too, I would still smile and say, "Oh. Guess what? So am I! But since I was here first, DON'T JUMP MY FUCKING QUEUE!!!" Growl. Bare teeth. It was otherwise a lovely morning at the beach and I cannot wait until next weekend! (Though I may be partnerless because I think I almost paced my companion into the ground today. Heh. Heh.) Drama MummiesIt looks like the local blogsphere just made its very own reality drama series Desperate Bloggers: Sex, Lies and Photoshoots. Tsk. Tsk.One can only wonder if the photospread in the March issue of Her World would be worth the ongoing and very public catfight. But considering that I have stopped buying the women's magazine because of the deteriorating editorial standards and increasingly sensationalistic headlines that cannot even deliver (come on, if you want to do smut, at least, deliver the smut!), the photospread is likely to be an anti-climax - or the start of Season 2 of Desperate Bloggers: Sex, Lies and eh, More Hate Sites???
You've Been Blonde'd!The best blonde joke ever. Cleverly subtle.
And when Mrs Y asked about the advertisements, I offered to fax the listings for her perusal. When she repeated her question, hoping I had an answer off-hand, I repeated my offer and added: "Unfortunately, the listings are long and I do not memorise every single item." What do these people think? I only return phone calls??? and memorise listings??? Christ. Bend It Like BenrikJanuary 9-15: This week lie your ass off about absolutely everything and enjoy a much more stimulating existence.
* "No, I'm not married." Sound"So pleaseeeee, baby please, come onnnnn, catch my disease ... "- Ben Lee An infectious little ditzy ditty that I wish I had with me earlier during the weekend when I did catch something - stomach flu. I went to bed on Friday night shivering so badly I eventually had to crawl into my outdoors sleeping bag, and I only managed 1.5 half-hearted meals because of the nausea and spinning head, which was made worse by the stiff neck and shoulders. I spent most of the weekend and Monday home actually sleeping. The only reason I started eating on the third day was because I was too weak even to WOW! Heh. And yeah, because the doctor said I should eat. Bird Brains"So what is it about kids, and chasing pigeons around, waiting to see if they scatter? Must be the first time they find out they can affect the world, or maybe it's just simply a fun game."I've got a better idea. Why not run into a group of kids and see if they scatter? Hardly charming behaviour, I know. But I am probably thinking of the kids at the lift landing who try to provoke my dogs into making a ruckus by barking at them. Maybe I ought to step out of the house and bark at them one of these days instead. Punk'd!Subject: Wall/Rock-climbingDate: Thu, 5 Jan 2006 09:44:49 +0800 Thread-Topic: Wall/Rock-climbing From: A To: X, L Dear X, My colleague, L, is from Canada and in the last 4 months he’s been here it’s been getting hard to get going with his rock-climbing activities. I remembered you were doing some indoor rock-climbing at SAFRA Yishun and figured it might be a good way for him to start getting something going. Would you recommend it? He’s been to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve but he needs a partner for climbing. He says he’s, “keen, friendly, handsome, not much trouble, interested in international climbing trips…” Heh. Basically, he needs to have someone to partner with so that he can keep one of his favourite activities going. Anyway, look forward to hearing from you and your advice about wall/rock-climbing in Singapore. L, X is a fit and charming Singaporean lady who isn’t afraid of sweating in Singapore. While not in Singapore, she is going around getting bends from diving trips, challenging catastrophic tsunamis.
Best Regards, ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Life is Like a Benrik January 2-8: This is the first week of your life change, so take it easy and warm up with a gentle task. Any of these will change your life, but only a little.
* Lose one gramme in weight.
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