The Perfect Reason 28 january 2009 Methinks Mister G has it really bad for The Green Lady. In addition to trying to ascertain, AGAIN, how well I knew her (not at all, doh - I just hear about her), he brought up The Incident, AGAIN, where a perceived snub by the new love of a mutual friend (hers and mine) had incurred the displeasure of Greenie (AND his, by extension). Mister G remembers that evening of The Incident with much mirth. I find it just as comical that he should be bringing up The Incident, AGAIN, as if I hadn't already heard it from him one too many times. I think, quite possibly, Mister G has been going around telling so many people about The Incident that he can't remember the ones who really don't need to hear about it, AGAIN, and, AGAIN. Of course, it didn't help that I acted as if I was hearing about it the first time only. But I must confess, I really just wanted to see how far this silliness would go. (I, Evil.) But most probably, it's just that Mister G really, really doesn't like my friend. Shrug. I'll'd rather think, however, that the only reason Mister G is repeating himself, AGAIN, and, AGAIN (not just about The Incident actually), is that he's got early onset of Alzheimer's. It makes it so much easier to ubnderstand where all this silliness is coming from, yes? Talking about which, a girlfriend's sister has been moody of late. It seems that some guy based in Australia had texted her the 3 magic words - and then did a disappearing act. When things seem to be going well, and then suddenly they don't, well, things like that really throw people off, you'll'd understand, yes? And then you start thinking you've been played, which is not a pleasant feeling at all, you'll'd agree too, yes? But I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason for the sudden drop off the radar. This is what I think.... I think Aussie Guy was at the beach and got chewed up by a shark. Or maybe he stepped on a stonefish and then he died. That would explain the lack of follow-up. It really helps with the 'moving on' process. I mean, if you know there is no way in hell that you would hear from the guy again, you wouldn't keep holding on to your sliver of hope, would you? Or worse, think you've been played/betrayed/deceived and then spend god-knows-how-many-more-months/years hating him and/or yourself for it. Take it from me: It's not that he's just not that into you. It's just that, well, he died. And people die, you know - though some in more horrible ways than others. So there. Doesn't that make you feel better prepared for those times when things seem to be going well, and then they suddenly just aren't anymore? The Squeeze 27 january 2009 The amazing thing about this photo is that the bird AKA Chickadee (yes, we name our dogs' toys too) isn't missing any 'body parts' (the nose/beak and eyes are usually the first to go). More than a few days have come and gone - a day, if not only a few hours, is usually all it takes before mangled bits of rubber/plastic/fur start showing up around the house. Elmo's been happily going about with his new squeaky toy (he likes the squeaky ones most) and sleeps with it, which is not unexpected. What's odd is that he hasn't tried to engage in tug-of-wars (and he really likes his tugs). So I was surprised when he came up to me with Chickadee and did not resist when I tried to get it from him, though his eyes never left the toy while I squeezed it to emit the squeaks. And this happened again, and again, and again. I think he must really like his latest squeeze. Ha-ha. And he's probably realised - after some more than 10 such toys - that all that rough handling makes the toys lose their squeaks. Interesting, no? You know you're an over-achiever 25 january 2009 When you're walking down the street, on your way to reunion dinner with the family, and on spotting one of those ubiquitous black birds hopping ahead, all you can think about is whether you should /target bird and /love for the To All The Squirrels I've Loved Before achievement, or /shoot for the Pest Control achievement. Face-palm. Your husband is so fugly.... 21 january 2009 On the February cover of Cleo, the team invites readers to see how it helped WY, a 23-year-old Marketing Executive AKA Mrs "My Husband Says I Look Ugly" by giving her some fashion advice. "I guess my insecurities stem from my husband criticising my looks all the time. He has never once complimented me on the way I look and often tells me I'm not fashionable enough. I never seem to dress right in his eyes. This is probably why I only stick to T-shirts and jeans cos he says this is the best way to hide all my flaws. I really wish that for once in my life, he would compliment me and tell me that I look beautiful." Well, WY, that's most probably because your husband is a fugly, unattractive, socially awkward, and possibly also underachieving excuse with a huge chip on his shoulder, who because he couldn't have what he wanted out of life and never managed to come to terms with his lot in life, settled - in this case, YOU, who quite possibly, and ironically so, a woman who saw past his looks (or lack thereof) and shortcomings. And your husband takes it out on the poor wifey whose very presence reminds him of all this. Post-makeover: "I'm really happy with the transformation - I can't believe I look this great! I hope my husband would be so pleased to see me. I'm going shopping this weekend bearing in mind Daphne's tips. I can't wait to give my wardrobe a complete overhaul! But the most important thing I've learnt from this is that as long as I dress for myself, I'd look good. This has given me the confidence to step out of my comfort zone. No more tees and jeans!" And THAT'S the most important thing you learnt??? What you need is to shop for a NEW MAN - one who is more deserving of you. And oh, Cleo??? FAIL!!! (Not in the fashion department but for supporting the husband's disrespectful attitude and nonsense.) Too much information 19 january 2009 When did salesgirls started following you into the changing room to make sure a certain piece of clothing fitted? And then STAYED in said room while you changed into another piece of clothing so she could make sure that said other piece of clothing also fitted you? Okayyy. At least she didn't try to help with the adjustments or touch any part of my body.... Ok, fine. It wouldn't have been just any part of my body.... Well, you get the picture.... Actually, no, don't go there.... Cough delicately. * * * * * I just ignored a friend. You see, he was feeling bored because the latest squeeze/fling/flavour-of-the-monthweek/whatever would be away for a couple of weeks. This, after he told me just over a week ago that he would be meeting up with someone new from one of his online haunts. And he didn't hide his glee about scoring (yet again), and that said someone not only had a good body, was also married, and had kids. This, after he came to me a month or so ago, gushing about aforementioned latest squeeze/fling/flavour-of-the-monthweek/whatever who apparently is a doppelganger for a local hottie. He was delighted about how the other was really into him and how great everything was - they actually had chemistry too, rare in his many fleeting encounters. (I have a theory that it hardened him to relationships but maybe I'm being idealistic and he's just a hedonist.) I don't think I could have forgotten he was seeing said doppelganger for a local hottie because I wouldn't have had the chance at the rate he kept going on and on and on about the dates and great sex - even after I jokingly told him once that I would have to stop talking to him if he insisted on reminding me what I was missing out on. And to think I was happy for him that he might have found the one. Guess not. So here I am, filled with extreme disgust. And I'm actually feeling sorry for feeling this way. What gives? But seriously. Seriously. What's wrong with you people??? Faith 16 january 2009 "The way you're feeling right now - is why I have to believe in something bigger than me. Because if I didn't? That powerlessness would eat me alive." ~ Dr Preston Burke in "Grey's Anatomy" And though black's not really my colour, I think Dr Burke's really hot - especially when he wears those glasses ;-) Farts and Bad-Face-Days 15 january 2009 So we were standing over the table and poring over the draft layout and deciding on the changes to be made, when I heard a soft but distinct shift in the air in the region around Master No. 1's generous posterior. And then, a faint whiff of that which had caused the recent disturbance. Oh ye gods. Later on, Master No. 2 decided I just had to lend him my comb so his hair won't be out of place for the photo session. Dude, it's not the hair. Trust me, really. I feel so loved tonight. Not. I'm combing my hair now with The Comb. Maybe some of Master No. 2's braininess will rub off on me. Or his ADHD for that matter. Ha. Trash talk 14 january 2009 The Best Friend was over the top with her accommodation and couldn't stop raving about being able to enjoy plugged-in music from her iPod in the bathroom etc etc, the awesome sound system "in the ceiling" etc etc, and the free flow of Pellegrino, etc etc (I'm sure I'll be hearing all about it etc etc again when she comes home). And she thought I should include a webcam for the new PC I was sourcing for work so she can give me video tours of her fabulous lodgings in future. Siow. I don't need a webcam for work what. So ridiculous. I am however, 'sneaking' in a sound bar to be attached to a brand new 20" flat panel monitor (I'm still using a crappy CRT though it works fine). Heh. Heh. I told The Best Friend that she should just stay in Shanghai and not come home. In fact, she should throw her passport out of the window for good measure. Ha. Ha. I can't remember how we got to talking about her problems with getting a man (make that a man who will ALSO be interested in a relationship), but anyway, she figured she'll have to work harder on 'publicity'. I told her she should just run around naked. Ha. Ha. And that's how I squandered 30 minutes this morning at work - being ridiculous. Laugh. Then again, considering how life's been pretty ridiculous lately, it's quite fitting, no? Anyway. Can I need roll this sexy little thing please? %-)~~~~ Into the labyrinth I said nothing, of course. Bring the pain 13 january 2009 "Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else... Makes the rest of your world fade away, until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anesthetize , ride it out, embrace it, ignore it, and for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it..." "Pain. You just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain. You just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it... And life always makes more." ~ Dr Meredith Grey in "Grey's Anatomy" I see monkeys 06 january 2009 So now I can't get this image of baby monkeys clinging to mummy monkeys out of my head. dot dot dot dot Enough 02 january 2009 "....not interested in a relationship....I hope you understand :-)" Rrrrright. [ 1 ] All Men are IDIOTS. [ 2 ] No more Miss Nice. [ 3 ] I hope YOU understand too :-))) Byebye 2008. Hellooooo 2009. 01 january 2009 In short, 2008 had been quite a rollercoaster, come to think of it. I've forgotten the really bad times, mostly in the first half of the year - probably because I was distracted by the, ahem, fun stuff. Laugh. I mean, work was absolutely INSANE, though things did get better in the second half, for which I'm thankful for and I also believe the rocky ride was necessary to prepare me for the future and to show me the way forward. There was also another thing in the past year, which has, and will continue to (I suspect, unfortunately) bewilder and frustrate me. And, I don't think there's anything I can do about it, unlike work.... But oh well, shrug. Que sera sera. I don't know what else 2009 will bring, other than the few changes already lined up. And oh yes, that glimpse of trouble from the Queen Bee towards the end of the year. Sigh. I suppose it's not easy for her too - nobody likes to be told they're past their expiry date and to make way for the successor. I hope I'll never turn out that way when it's my time. It's most.... inelegant. But for now, 2009, bring it.